


Stillness

by aflawedfashion



Category: Snowpiercer (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26344615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aflawedfashion/pseuds/aflawedfashion
Summary: Bennett in the aftermath of the season 1 finale, facing everything that went wrong.
Relationships: Melanie Cavill/Bennett Knox
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Stillness

Bennett leaned against Snowpiercer’s cold wall, attempting to absorb the stillness and calm his nerves. It didn’t work. He could hardly stomach the solitude of standing alone, without Melanie, under the blaring alarms. Humans weren’t meant to live on a train, and yet standing still felt wrong. Like failure. Like hovering on the precipice of death.

He stood there until the alarms went silent, until the quiet hum of machinery was his only comfort, his reminder that Snowpiercer wasn’t dead yet, and neither was humanity. Neither was Melanie.

He pulled away from the wall, running his hand through his hair as he took deep, even breaths.

“She’s going to be fine,” he said to the empty room—no one to convince but himself.

Guilt picked at every nerve in his body. If he had just shared the truth earlier, maybe they could have evaded Wilford. Maybe they could have formulated a better plan. Maybe he wouldn’t feel like absolute shit.

But, honestly, despite his overwhelming sense of regret, he knew Snowpiercer needed Big Alice, and he knew Melanie’s first instinct would be to run away as fast as she could. The tracks grew rougher every revolution, Snowpiercer was running out of supplies, losing cars. A critical loss was inevitable. He was sure of that,  _ terrified  _ of that, so he chose the path to survival. He chose not to run.

He figured they could handle Wilford, but they couldn’t survive the train falling apart. He did what he thought was necessary, what Melanie taught him to do—always put the train first. He didn’t properly consider the ramifications or the alternatives. He just did what felt right in the moment.

But then she said, “you and I could have made that choice together,” and everything changed. He understood the weight of what he had done.

It had never occurred to him that she would seriously consider his opinion on the matter. She trusted him with so much of the train, but this was different. Her hatred for Wilford trumped everything, and they weren’t exactly equals on the train. They weren’t even officially a couple. Why would the woman who spent seven years leading humanity listen to an engineer who wanted her to admit that confronting a man she despised might be the only way to save them all? 

That was the question that drove him to his critical mistake. He loved her, but he had treated her like a boss he disagreed with, not the woman he trusted more than anyone else even during their worst arguments. And if they were partners in any sense of the word, then it didn’t have to be either his way or her way. They needed to work together, not let his fears of death or her fears of Wilford lead to impulsive behavior. 

He only wished he had figured that out earlier, but he couldn’t think about that now. He couldn’t undo his mistakes, and he had people to keep alive. There’d be time for conversations and apologies later. Nothing could kill Melanie Cavill, not Wilford, not the snow, not anything. 

He straightened his shoulders, finally pulling himself together. Melanie never quit, not even in the face of her worst mistakes. She was his source of strength, and she’d get herself out of this mess. 

And when she came back, she’d want her train, so he would keep it running. He had no fucking idea what he was supposed to do next, but he’d figure it out. For her.

And then they’d take their next steps together. 


End file.
